Dearest Beth

To: beth.k@email.com

From: james127@email.com

Aug. 11, 2010

Dearest Beth,

I am writing this as I’m on my way to the airport. I’ve finally given up hope that things will get better somehow. I’ve decided to leave the country, and go somewhere where I can start fresh. I know you’ll hate me for this, but I can’t do it anymore. I can’t live a lie, and I can’t drag you down into this lie with me. We had some good times and some bad ones, but I’ll always remember you for the person that loved me for who I am.

Something happened recently that changed me from the inside. I’m no longer the man you married. I’m no longer the man that wanted to have a life and a family with you. Today I’m just broken.

I met someone else. I’ve fallen in love with her, and no matter what I do, I can’t fall out of love with her. I refuse to do this to you. I refuse to cheat on you, and I refuse to break your heart. I won’t allow myself to be happy with her, knowing that I hurt you. The only decision left was to leave both of you.

I hope you understand why I did this. I know that you’ll never forgive me, but I pray you find the happiness you deserve with someone better than me.

Good bye,

James

To: beth.k@email.com

From: james127@email.com

Aug. 12, 2010

Dearest Beth,

I have just landed, and I really don’t know why I’m writing this to you. I’ve already said my good byes, but somehow, talking to you makes me feel less depressed. I have to find a hotel, and then start looking for a job. I hope this new life will help me forget everything that happened.

I have a confession to make, I didn’t quit my job, I was fired. I got fired because I was making too many mistakes. It was all because I was so busy thinking about you and her, and how I would fix this problem. I couldn’t concentrate anymore. So one day my boss asked me to talk to him. We sat down and he started asking me about my work. I told him what was happening. He told me that I was a fool to ruin something so good just for the chance to be with someone else. He said that I didn’t even know if she would accept me. I know she will accept me. I’m so in love with her, I would do anything.

Anyways, I know this isn’t what you want to hear, but it’s the truth. I now believe that he was right. I ruined something perfect for a blind chance. I just wanted you to know the truth about me.

James

To: beth.k@email.com

From: james127@email.com

Aug 23, 2010

Dearest Beth,

I don’t know if you have gotten my e-mails or not, because you never reply. I wish you would write back and tell me off. Yell at me, scream, curse, anything, but this silence is killing me. I can understand your disappointment in me. You took me when I thought that there was no way someone could ever fall in love with me. I let you down big time. There’s nothing I can do to make up for this, and I wish I were someone else right now.

I miss my family so much. Please Beth, if there’s any love left inside you for me, please tell them I’m ok. I know my mother worries, and she’s probably frantic right now. Oh God, I can’t imagine what I’ve done to her. She always depended on me to be the strong one, and now I’m the coward.

I’m sorry, I can’t write anymore, I need some fresh air.

James

To: beth.k@email.com

From: james127@email.com

Sep. 9, 2010

I hate myself. I thought that running away would help me forget, but the only thing it’s done is make me more depressed. I miss you so much. I miss your smile, your hugs, and your kisses. I still smell you, even though you’re hundreds of miles away. I made a terrible decision leaving. I regret it everyday, and I know now that I can’t live without you.

I’m coming back soon. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me and take me back. I know it’s an impossible thing to ask, but I hope we can go back to normal.

Please forgive me.

James

To: beth.k@email.com

From: james127@email.com

Sep 18, 2010

Dearest Beth,

I just saw on the news. I didn’t know that I would push you so far as to take your own life. I wish I could have been at your funeral, I wish I could have said good bye one last time. It doesn’t matter now anyways.

Don’t worry my love, I’ll be joining you soon, and we can be together again.

I’m so sorry.

James

David

Walking home from work, David was contemplating what a wonderful life he had. David worked as a Therapist at the local mental institute. He ran group therapy sessions with people who needed his help, and he was happy to be able to help them. He could spend his entire day listening to their troubles, and help guide them back to a normal and productive life. Why wouldn't anyone enjoy that? the looks on their faces when one of them finally breaks through the walls despair and depression and opens up about their real problems, was his reward. The kind thank you's he gets as they walk out, was his adrenaline rush. He truly had the best job in the world.

His home life was also up there. He had a beautiful wife, Beth, who after 8 years of marriage and two children, still looked as beautiful as the day he mt her. she was smart, articulate,a wonderful cook, a perfect mother, and could still entice him to come to bed a little earlier than usual with just a look.

His children, 6 year old Tania, and 4 year old Mikey, were both angels. They would rush to the door to give him a hug when he came home, say their prayers before meals and bed, and they were relatively neat for children. "Then again, a person can't have everything perfect" He chuckled to himself.

It was all so wonderful, but lately he had been having some thoughts. What if his life was indeed too perfect? The thoughts never really lasted for more than a second, but they unnerved him nonetheless.

He unlocks his front door to the sounds of little footsteps running down the stairs to greet him, and the smell of his favorite meal, roast chicken. He quickly drops his bag on the floor to catch a leaping Tanya in his arms.

"I missed you Daddy, you were gone a long time!" She scolds.
"I know baby, I'm back now!" As he gives her his most charming smile
"Let Mommy have a hug Tanya" Comes a voice from around the corner.

Beth walks in and with the practice that only comes from routine, picks Tanya off her father and gives him a welcome home kiss.

"Get yourself cleaned up, dinner is almost ready"
"Wheres Mikey?"
"Mikey has a stomach flu, he's in bed. Poor darling has been throwing up all day"
"I'll go check up him, and then i'll wash up"

As he takes off his jacket, he notices a nasty cut on Beths wrist. Her usually pale skin causing it to stand out and look furious.

"Are you ok hun? Looks like a bad cut there."
"Yeah it's ok, Tanya was horsing around while I was putting away the cutting knife"
"I'm sorry Mama" Said Tanya with her best apologetic face.
"It's ok baby, now go get ready for dinner"

David walks up the stairs and opens the door to Mikeys room. The room is littered with toys.

"Looks like Mikey isn't as sick as she thought" He thinks.

Mikey is curled up under his sheets. Aside from the occasional stirring, he seemed very quiet. David sits down on the edge of the bed, causing little mikey to turn around at the sudden dip of his bed.

"Hi Daddy!" He says meekly
"Hi little man, how are you feeling?"
"My tummy hurts"
"It's ok, it will go away soon. Now just get some rest."


He walks out of the room and washes up. As he's washing his face, he notices that the mirror is smudged. Kind of looks like nobody has cleaned it in a while. "Poor Beth must be up to her ears with the children" He thinks guiltly. "I'm going to have to do my share of the chores around here"

David comes down the stairs to find dinner on the table and Beth and Tanya already sitting waiting for him. Tanya says a well rehearsed prayer and they start to eat.

"This tastes wonderful dear" He says with a mouthful of chicken
"Thanks dear, i'm glad you like it"
"I think it's missing a little salt though. Tanya, please pass me the salt"
"Oh no you don't! you remember your promise to cut down on the salt. You have a family history of high blood pressure."
"Hmm, did I make that promise? I don't remember." he replies jokingly
"Yes you did. It was right around the time you vowed to love and cherish me till death do us part" Replies Beth with a sly smile
"Oh yeah, I do remember" He replies with a loving smile

They share a laugh, as David notices a slight red mark just under Tanya's hairline.
"Sweetheart, did you hurt yourself today?"
"Yeah, it was when I bumped into Mommy"
"Poor thing bumped her head against the counter, its going to bruise for a while, but she'll be fine"

They finish off dinner, and David helps wash the plates. As soon as teh plates are away, they help Tanya get ready for bed. After Tanya has been tucked away safely for the night, and they settle in their own bed, David turns over and gives his wife a kiss on the back of her neck.

"What was that for" She asks as she turns over.
"Nothing, I just really love you"
"Well, I love you too, and I really miss you"
"I'm here now, no need to miss me anymore"
"I don't know David, but lately I feel so far away"
"Far away from what?"
"Thats just it. I don't know. I just feel like we're not together as much anymore. I feel cold and alone sometimes"
"Honey, are you feeling well? Where is this coming from" He says sounding a bit concerned.
"It's nothing. Don't worry about it, probably just tired from the kids"
"Ok honey, get some rest"

David wakes up to the sound of someone calling his name.
"David ... David ... Come on David, wake up, you'll be late for group!"
"Yes, dear. I'm awake"
"David? Have you been dreaming again?"
"Dreaming? No, why do you ask?"
"Because you called me dear again"
"Sorry about that. Force of habit"

20 minutes later, David is sitting in his normal chair, surrounded by familiar faces. The doctor in the white coat singles him out.

"David? Do you think you want to share now? It's been 2 years, and you haven't said a single word in group."

As memories burst through the haze in his mind, he finally breaks down and cries.

"My name is David, and I killed my family"

David

Walking home from work, David was contemplating what a wonderful life he had. David worked as a Therapist at the local mental institute. He ran group therapy sessions with people who needed his help, and he was happy to be able to help them. He could spend his entire day listening to their troubles, and help guide them back to a normal and productive life. Why wouldn't anyone enjoy that? the looks on their faces when one of them finally breaks through the walls despair and depression and opens up about their real problems, was his reward. The kind thank you's he gets as they walk out, was his adrenaline rush. He truly had the best job in the world.

His home life was also up there. He had a beautiful wife, Beth, who after 8 years of marriage and two children, still looked as beautiful as the day he mt her. she was smart, articulate,a wonderful cook, a perfect mother, and could still entice him to come to bed a little earlier than usual with just a look.

His children, 6 year old Tania, and 4 year old Mikey, were both angels. They would rush to the door to give him a hug when he came home, say their prayers before meals and bed, and they were relatively neat for children. "Then again, a person can't have everything perfect" He chuckled to himself.

It was all so wonderful, but lately he had been having some thoughts. What if his life was indeed too perfect? The thoughts never really lasted for more than a second, but they unnerved him nonetheless.

He unlocks his front door to the sounds of little footsteps running down the stairs to greet him, and the smell of his favorite meal, roast chicken. He quickly drops his bag on the floor to catch a leaping Tanya in his arms.

"I missed you Daddy, you were gone a long time!" She scolds.
"I know baby, I'm back now!" As he gives her his most charming smile
"Let Mommy have a hug Tanya" Comes a voice from around the corner.

Beth walks in and with the practice that only comes from routine, picks Tanya off her father and gives him a welcome home kiss.

"Get yourself cleaned up, dinner is almost ready"
"Wheres Mikey?"
"Mikey has a stomach flu, he's in bed. Poor darling has been throwing up all day"
"I'll go check up him, and then i'll wash up"

As he takes off his jacket, he notices a nasty cut on Beths wrist. Her usually pale skin causing it to stand out and look furious.

"Are you ok hun? Looks like a bad cut there."
"Yeah it's ok, Tanya was horsing around while I was putting away the cutting knife"
"I'm sorry Mama" Said Tanya with her best apologetic face.
"It's ok baby, now go get ready for dinner"

David walks up the stairs and opens the door to Mikeys room. The room is littered with toys.

"Looks like Mikey isn't as sick as she thought" He thinks.

Mikey is curled up under his sheets. Aside from the occasional stirring, he seemed very quiet. David sits down on the edge of the bed, causing little mikey to turn around at the sudden dip of his bed.

"Hi Daddy!" He says meekly
"Hi little man, how are you feeling?"
"My tummy hurts"
"It's ok, it will go away soon. Now just get some rest."

He walks out of the room and washes up. As he's washing his face, he notices that the mirror is smudged. Kinf of looks like nobody has cleaned it in a while. "Poor Beth must be up to her ears with the children" He thinks guiltly. "I'm going to have to do my share of the chores around here"

David comes down the stairs to find dinner on the table and Beth and Tanya already sitting waiting for him. Tanya says a well rehearsed prayer and they start to eat.

"This tastes wonderful dear" He says with a mouthful of chicken
"Thanks dear, i'm glad you like it"
"I think it's missing a little salt though. Tanya, please pass me the salt"
"Oh no you don't! you remember your promise to cut down on the salt. You have a family history of high blood pressure."
"Hmm, did I make that promise? I don't remember." he replies jokingly
"Yes you did. It was right around the time you vowed to love and cherish me till death do us part" Replies Beth with a sly smile
"Oh yeah, I do remember" He replies with a loving smile

They share a laugh, as David notices a slight red mark just under Tanias hairline.
"Sweetheart, did you hurt yourself today?"
"Yeah, it was when I bumped into Mommy"
"Poor thing bumped her head against the counter, its going to bruise for a while, but she'll be fine"

They finish off dinner, and David helps wash the plates. As soon as teh plates are away, they help Tanya get ready for bed. After Tanya has been tucked away safely for the night, and they settle in their own bed, David turns over and gives his wife a kiss on the back of her neck.

"What was that for" She asks as she turns over.
"Nothing, I just really love you"
"Well, I love you too, and I really miss you"
"I'm here now, no need to miss me anymore"
"I don't know David, but lately I feel so far away"
"Far away from what?"
"Thats just it. I don't know. I just feel like we're not together as much anymore. I feel cold and alone sometimes"
"Honey, are you feeling well? Where is this coming from" He says sounding a bit concerned.
"It's nothing. Don't worry about it, probably just tired from the kids"
"Ok honey, get some rest"

David wakes up to the sound of someone calling his name.
"David ... David ... Come on David, wake up, you'll be late for group!"
"Yes, dear. I'm awake"
"David? Have you been dreaming again?"
"Dreaming? No, why do you ask?"
"Because you called me dear again"
"Sorry about that. Force of habit"

20 minutes later David is sitting in his normal chair, surrounded by familiar faces. The doctor in the white coat singles him out.

"David? Do you think you want to share now? It's been 2 years, and you haven't said a single word in group."

As memories burst through the haze in his mind, he finally breaks down and cries.

"My name is David, and I killed my family"

The End of the Road

The start of the road

Looks strangely like the rest of it

I ride in no direction

I arrive at no destination

A jack-knifed semi on the road

Turned over spilling its load

Dead and face down in the dirt

A man wearing a plaid shirt

Looks up at me without a word

Then calmly flips me the bird

A road-side diner, open till late

Rows of cows lined up in wait

They serve them steaks in a frenzied haste

It’s not cannibalism, just an acquired taste

A little girl forces me to a halt

Her wedding dress as white as salt

Aiming at me with a little fling

A diamond strikes me, her wedding ring

I see myself old and wearing a dusty old suit

I flag myself down, with a hand raised in salute

I greet myself with a great big hug

And a knife in my back as I walk away all smug

The end of the road

Looks strangely like the rest of it